'In the midst of life we are in death...'

I am sitting at home trying to focus on preparing for tomorrow and yet I am well aware that not far from here are two people who are taking their last steps on the journey through life.

I know both of them reasonably well, and I know they have both lived rich, full and varied lives. Neither of them are particularly aged. Yet, from the safe distance of my study, even from the distance of being their priest and not a member of their respective families, it is perhaps inevitable that together we will feel cheated of their presence in the days that lie ahead, knowing that there are many stories about their lives we have not heard, that we will not hear the tone of their voice, the firm shake of a hand or the warmth of an embrace or the tenderness of a kiss. There are also lives that will be shattered by loss, and all of our worlds will feel their lack. Something... someone will be missing.

It is into this maelstrom of bereavement that I offer these prayers in the hope that they might help us pray into the days ahead, relying the compassion and presence of the Lord of Life.

¶ Prayer for a dying person

Eternal God,
grant to your servant
and to us who surround him/her with our prayers
your peace beyond understanding.
Give us faith, the comfort of your presence,
and the words to say to one another and to you,
as we gather in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

¶Prayer when someone has just died

The minister, a family member or a friend may use some or all of these words

In this moment of sorrow the Lord is in our midst
and consoles us with his word:

No eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the human heart conceived,
what God has prepared for those who love him.

Blessed are the sorrowful; they shall be comforted.

Into your hands, O Lord,
we humbly entrust our brother/sister N .
In this life you embraced him/her with your tender love,
and opened to him/her the gate of heaven.
The old order has passed away,
as you welcome him/her into paradise,
where there will be no sorrow, no weeping nor pain,
but the fullness of peace and joy
with your Son and the Holy Spirit for ever and ever. Amen.

Heavenly Father,
into whose hands Jesus Christ
commended his spirit at the last hour:
into those same hands we now commend your servant N ,
that death may be for him/her
the gate to life and to eternal fellowship with you;
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Remember, O Lord,
this your servant,
who has gone before us with the sign of faith
and now rests in the sleep of peace.
According to your promises,
grant to him/her and to all who rest in Christ,
refreshment, light and peace;
through the same Christ our Lord. Amen.

Most merciful God,
whose wisdom is beyond our understanding,
surround the family of N with your love,
that they may not be overwhelmed by their loss,
but have confidence in your goodness,
and strength to meet the days to come.
We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

When Grandfather's Pass On

A close friend recently lost her grandfather. The grief I felt for her and her family made me think back to when my grandfather passed on several years ago. The process I went through taught me a few things that I am sure all Christians share.
My Grandfather died in May of 2004 after several years of mental and physical deterioration. He was well into his 80s and had never really recovered from a stroke. As he began to forget things (like our names), he never became angry or irritable as some of the elderly do. He still remembered that we were his family and that he loved us. He was still thrilled when he saw small children come into his room. He even saw his first two great-grandchildren scant months before he passed on.

His funeral came at a strange time in my life. I had just decided that I was going to pursue education further than most. I learned I loved learning, thinking, and the honor that comes with it. This wasn’t simply me growing into arrogance, it was in fact what had kept my faith afloat at the time. Besides, many people saw my intellectual tendencies long before I did.

The sum of my grandfather’s life was so different than my goals of honorific academia. Due to circumstances outside of his control, he never made it past an eighth grade education. He made his living from a humble plumbing business. He never read anything deeper than Billy Graham. Yet, throughout the funeral, I realized that my Grandfather was exceptional in life. His faithfulness to his spouse, his kindness towards strangers, the honesty of his business, his devotion to Christ among other things made him a paragon. It made me re-evaluate myself then and still does now.

But that is not even the end of it. During the funeral –somewhere in between the rifle salute and the old hymn – the closing line of the Nicene Creed came into my mind:

We look for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come. Amen.

I cannot remember a time when I did know the Nicene Creed. I recited Sunday after Sunday as a child. Furthermore, in my time of crisis, I had spent some time reading on the historicity of Christ’s resurrection.

The Creed and historical Jesus are of great importance, but at that funeral was the first time I ever really took emotional ownership of this last line and the idea of Christ coming before his disciples after dying. Because of Christ’s resurrection, we can look foreward to a world not full of angelic ghosts playing harps, but glorified and repaired resurrected bodies that are immune to decay and corruption of this world.

For this reason, the early Christians buried –not cremated –their dead. As Christians today, when we bury our dead, we remember that we don’t have to think of them in their last moments here. Instead, we look forward to what they will be, when God raises all from the dead and frees us from corruption and death.