The Word as a Wordle for Easter 5

Here is a wordle of tomorrow's Gospel reading from John 14:1-14.  The reading isset in the context of a very real questioning about what Jesus was doing, talking about dying, when His ministry seems to be flourishing. Jesus speaks into the fear of His closest friends, He speaks peace into their troubled hearts.

Everything is up for grabs, 'Show us the Father' says Philip. Who is this Jesus after all? He behave and speaks and acts like God and then speaks of it ending not in triumph but disaster and death.

The wordle reminds me, that Jesus calls us to know the Father, but He does so in the middle of everything that makes our lives - in the middle of life's joys and tragedies. To fundamental questions about life and faith, Jesus comes back with words that echo the words of God to Moses at the burning bush when he reveals His every essesnce... I am...the way, the truth, the life. To know Jesus is to know God Himself.

We can know God in Jesus Christ, but how do we show Him and His heavenly father to the world? By listening to the questions that the world and her people are asking and not just speak of but act showing the love of God...

From Jerusalem to Leverstock Green

We spent Friday undertaking an unenviable task - sorting the loft. it is an unenviable task because when we arrived here we were 2 and a bit, and now we are 5 (6 if you count the dog!) and with a boarded loft this end and no boarded loft at the other, we needed to sort with a motto - if in doubt throw it out.

Sorting stuff was was a bittersweet experience - there were records, books, photos, keepsakes, mementos - there were things that brought back good memories, there were things that reminded me of people no longer with us, there were things that reminded me of how far I have journeyed on life since. The sorting made me look back and caused a number of different emotions to surface.

Then yesterday morning I was at Leverstock Green School celebrating the history of the life of the school in this community as part of the 200th anniversary celebrations of the National Society which was set up to promote religious education in this country. It was wonderful to go and see photos and records and stories of the school over different eras of it’s past and to celebrate the journey the school has been on over the years and the impact that the it has made on thousands of lives in this community.

In this morning’s Gospel reading we encounter two people, full of memories about the past, overflowing with emotion, contemplating the journey their lives had taken them on as they travel from Jerusalem to Emmaus.

This story deals in things we know and can grasp and understand - it happens on the way to Emmaus from Jerusalem - roughly equivalent if we were to walk from here to St Albans Abbey, about 6 miles. We are told one of the key players is a man called Cleopas. He’s not one of the 12 disciples, but might have been part of the very earliest of churches. And the other? One of us perhaps?

We know something that they don’t.  As they walk the two travelers are joined by a stranger. THey fail to recognize him as the risen Jesus. Was that because it was so unlikely? So unexpected? Were they so wrapped up in their grief. But would we recognize him? Jesus promises to walk with us, to be with us wherever we go but do we recognize him?

Cleopas and the other disciple are asked by their traveling companion to explain why they are looking sad. Their hope is gone.  So Cleopas explains about the things that had taken place.  ‘We had hoped...’ said Cleopas.  As he retells of Jesus alive, crucified, dead and buried, so they tell of crushed hopes and trodden down dreams with him and for themselves. Gone. But notice, as they unfold the top news story of the day, they describe Jesus as a great prophet, but fail to grasp something crucial - his divinity - He is the Son of God. They had missed something crucial.

By ourselves, through own intelligence, our philosophy, science, our own reasoning we discover much about our lives and the world, but all in all we cannot fully grasp God fully, really truly is using these alone. God is beyond us. We need him to reveal himself to us alongside us.

This weekend we have been celebrating the life of Leverstock Green school in the context of the wider bicentennial celebrations for the National Society. We have been celebrating and giving thanks for the life of a school that has walked alongside this community for over 160 years through tragedy and joy. What we celebrate this weekend is not the buildings, but the people who have walked alongside sometimes unseen, as fellow pupils of the school as well as staff and support staff. It is their presence, commitment and care that is remembered long after the buildings are forgotten because it is that which shapes us as people and has transformed our future.

The stranger walks alongside Cleopas an the other disciple and us and opens the scriptures to them. He reveals the big story of God’s love for creation contained in them, and reaching it’s fulfillment in and through his messiah, his chosen one. Even then they did not fully grasp why this was the most important walk of their lives.

Later, as they share a meal at which the stranger takes bread, gives thanks for it and blesses, breaks and shares it. Suddenly it dawned on them who the stranger is. It is their Master raised from the dead. Jesus himself had had walked alongside them and had revealed God’s promise of new hope and resurrection life to them, but not in the Temple, not in church, but in the ordinary things of life - a walk, a meal, a chat, a growing friendship...

This is such a contemporary story. We make our way through life accompanied by all sorts of people - family, friends, teachers, strangers. Some of the journeys are joyful some are tragic. Jesus comes alongside each of us on life’s journey. He doesn’t force his way into the conversations, but listens attentively to our stories and then asks us what we are saying and where we are going. Some of these journeys will encourage us to ask big questions about life and faith.

Jesus meets us this morning wherever we are on our journey. As we read the Bible he helps us understand the extent of God’s love for us as all. As we break bread and share wine Jesus transforms our hurts to hopes, our sorrow to joy, our death to his risen life. As we leave here he meets us again in the ordinary things in life - a walk, a chat, a meal a growing friendship. In all these Cleopas and the other disciple found themselves filled with faith. As we journey from school to college, to work, to family, to friends in all the ordinary things of life, walk alongside us O unexpected Jesus and share with us the things of God and fill us with faith and hope. Amen

What Are You Passionate About - A Sermon for Passion Sunday and Vicar's report for the APCM

On this Passion Sunday, I wonder - what are you passionate about? What is your vision? I have spent the last 6 months or so asking the clergy of Hemel this question as part of some work I am doing for Churches Together. The responses have been varied and inspiring and including: mission & evangelism, the transforming power of the Gospel & building community in various forms. I also asked the ministers to answer the same question as if their church members were answering. Again the answers have been interesting & not necessarily the same as the respective minister! They include: the quality of our worship and being community of disciples open to God.

This work has made me reflect though on how I might answer the question? I would answer in part with a quote - a blind person once asked St. Anthony: "Can there be anything worse than losing your eyesight?" He replied: "Yes, losing your vision."

The this year has been marked with me/us regaining our vision. I was privileged and thankful that the diocese & you gave me the opportunity to take Sabbatical leave the this year. During my time off, I spent time with churches that gather around the Eucharist that are growing - seeing what God is doing with them, & seeing if there are any common themes. I also read much about church growth and strategic planning under God. The time was a gift & I thank you for it. I returned with some renewed priorities and fresh vision. Since my return we have begun work on a big piece of work - our Mission Action Plan which is a direct outcome of my time away. My time off also helped think much about the importance of helping all of us grow in Christian faith and have seen some great opportunities for us each to do that & to that end I am delighted that we have now run an Alpha course. The feedback we have had from those who have been on the course is that it has developed new friends & deepened faith in God. This personal re-visioning for me personally has continued as I have attended some very worthwhile training events including a 3 day workshop on change management with 20 colleagues from the Eastern region’s dioceses, an Old Testament study day, & I am 1 of 30 30 clergy from the diocese selected to attend The Weddings project training.

The other big new responsibility that I have undertaken this year, is that I have become Vice Chair of Churches Together in Hemel Hempstead. I am committed to working with other Christians to see God’s Kingdom revealed. The fruit of that work has been a better working relationship with of churches, and a mutual support in ministry - several local churches helped with our Alpha course for example.

Much of this year’s work has been consolidating & building on God’s work in & for our growing church, much of it unseen by the church per se, but all of it enriching and revealing something of the love of God including supporting the key groups and their leaders with a quarterly round of house communions with each group for support and prayer in the context of worship, an increased level of personal pastoral work with a number of individuals in the community, a significant increase in ministry to the dying - I have prayed the Last Rites in the last 6 months more that I have in 11 years of ordained ministry. We have also seen the start a new group for men in the church which has been well supported.

In the last 12 months or so, I have become a member of our Diocesan synod and have and have continued my involvement with the Diocesan Board of Education, focussing on how we support our church schools best and most effectively.

Speaking of education, we have continued to strengthen our links with Leverstock Green school - I am leading worship there once a week and conducting 4 services in church for the school. As Chair of Governors I have a particular responsibility to ensure the school moves from strength to strength and to ensure that the Christian faith is experienced implicitly and explicitly in the life of the school. We are an Outstanding church school and are a leader in the Diocese in terms aspects of our life such as discerning the Christians values that underlie every aspect of the school (love, forgiveness and respect) & working to introduce a quiet space in each classroom for prayer and reflection. It has been particularly challenging year and the Head has required some particular support which it has been a privilege to offer & to give. Involvement with the school has provided the opportunity to walk alongside people in other ways through funerals and baptisms especially.

Talking of baptisms and so on, the number of occasional offices that I have officiated at this year has gone down - there were only 6 church weddings this least year for example and a similar number of funerals in church or the crematorium and baptisms. There are always peaks and troughs in these things. Things are already looking up on that front though with 13 booked for 2011 with a good number for 2012 already. We have also seen the sad deaths of some long standing church members in Sandy Walker, FLora Parr and Sara May. It has been a privilege to know and be known by them & together with them, to know the love of God.

Looking ahead over the next 12 months and beyond must be about, to borrow the living God’s Love headings, going deeper into God - there will be many opportunities for us to do this through bible study groups, our planned quiet day, and a planned Walk through the Bible event; making new disciples - we have a good number of adults expressing interest in being Confirmed in November this year and plans will be laid for another Alpha; and asking God to enable us to transform our communities - I hope for a full and imaginitive review of our childrenswork and plans being laid to provide for the needs of our growing church including the launching of a new service plus continuing to work in partnership with people as diverse as Leverstock Green school and the Leather Bottle pub. Another high will be the completing & acting on the God-given priorities identified in our Mission Action Plan. An exciting year indeed!

We heard in our readings today of a God who offer of new life in the face of death. This hope, says Jesus to Martha on their way to Lazasus’ tomb and to us, is not set at some fixed point in the future at the end of our lives, but the power of God breaks through in the now, subverting our expectations and surprising us with joy. The heart of this morning’s Gospel is not as such the raising of Lazarus but the intersection of three lives with that God in Jesus - and God’s power at work amongst them. At work amongst us today.

Jesus, on this Passion Sunday as we turn our faces with towards the cross, what are you passionate about? What is your vision? No mention of mission and evangelism or the transforming power of the Gospel or beautiful worship. His answer is revealed in the tears he cries at the starkness of the death of his friend Lazarus prefiguring his own death and ours; and in the vision of God to Eziekiel of the long dead warriors of Israel - that the hope, the love, the life of God is at work amongst ordinary people and for ordinary people like us, in tragedy and joy, and in both and in the intersection of our lives with Him, He offers both the power of God in resurrection and life in all it’s fullness. Amen.

A Tiny Blog... What Books to Read?

This blog begins with the following Maxims: Writing down goals and making them measurable is the best way to get them accomplished. Millionaires read one non-fiction book a month. I like reading a lot. I can't wait till I'm out of graduate school.

I have several goals. Perhaps to many. However, one of my goals is to read five books this summer. That's already a lot. However, I know I can do it. I am busy, picking them right now.

What I need are suggestions from other smart people of what books out there are worth reading -especially in the second and third categories.

Here's the list of books by categories:

1. Theology and Pastoral work. (So that I can be better lay minister).
I will without a doubt read Surprised by Hope. My brother got it for me for Christmas. It will be the last "middle-weight" theological reading I do for a long time. I also really want to read From Wild Man to Wise Man by Father Rohr. I like the whole masculine Christianity stuff. I like it better when it is thoughtful, serious, and not cheesy. This book came with the recommendation of a retired Methodist minister -my cousin-in-law's father. I am trying to keep my theological reading down to a mininum this summer. I imagine I'll read both of those, and no more in this category.

2. Creativity and Humor (For my writing talent and future re-imagining of the Uber Bean webcomic.)
I am right-brained, technique oriented writer. I need therefore, to read some stuff that is decidedly left-brained book like Writing Down the Bones. Dr. Kern, from APU, said I should read it. I will. Also, there are other books on writing and story telling like Aristotle's Poetics for Screenwriters. I don't know much about this book, but I know I want to learn how to tell better stories.

3. "People Skills" and other things that make you money. (So that I can learn how to be kinder, gentler, leader)
This is probably going to be the most important category. I need to get some of these skills growing again whether I become a teacher, a sales rep, a manager or whatever I do for employment. There is one book called Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion which I am interested in, but I have no idea if it is good or not. There are others that are aimed specifically at large groups (students maybe?) such as Win the Crowd. Finally, there are even sexier books aimed at using the verbal medium only.

Of course, there are books like If Aristotle Ran General Motors that sit on my shelf unfinished.

That's the end of this strange little blog. I am not sure what to read next.

But five books this summer for sure. That's nearly two a month.

De Res Futuras

De res futuras mei scribere dercervi. In kalendis pacuis, iter per Academiam philosophiae perfecta erit. Entonces, illa mons -quae intras me atque alia destinanta mei stat- arrosa erit. Viam scolasticorum nollo premere. Enim, illi scolastici, qui cum me legent et relegent, deliciam premerentis ad illud habeant. Ego in re publica vera malo vivere.

In fact, one of the reasons why I want to get out of school so much -and why I emphatically decided not to stay another semester is the idea of funds and career. It seems like applying for a PhD philosophy program is a kind of cognitive dissonance and self deception that only really smart people are capable of. We all know that very, very, few people are getting accepted. We all know that the job market is a scarce, viciously competitive, zero-sum game. We all know that there are plenty of people who get their PhDs and then do nothing that has to do with the subjects and that they could've gotten with their BAs and less debt and more fun. I don't want to be in school anymore. I look foreward to teaching someday, but right now, the only research I care about is more like the arts and outright sophistry than philosophy.

Plato would kick me out of his academy. How could I ever hope to get into a PhD philosophy program? I can imagine writing that on admission essays, "Plato wouldn't want me. Can you give me funding to study at your lovely school?"

So what do I care about right now?

Over the summer, I look foreward to preparing for NaNoWriMo. Over the summer, I hope to purchase a few books on creative writing at the recommendation of an old instructor. Though it apparently follows some silly new-age stuff, I need to get a copy of Writing Down the Bones and read through it. Hopefully then, I will have some ideas of how to get into my characters heads better.

It is like method acting.

I also realize, that in order successfully complete a novel for NanNoWriMo, I need to spend some time planning ahead and finding ways to stay motivated. This probably means finding ways to spend time with other future NaNoWriMo people. That can be approached another time. I know that there are other people who are thinking the same kinds of things right now anyway.

Of course, I need to put together the actual outline for NaNoWriMo novel. I have to think of the subject matter. The most obvious is to work with the characters from my webcomic. I am thinking about their mutual lives a few years outside of graduation. Or, the novel could be a long brainstorming session of a complete re-imagining of the whole comic. I was even thinking about telling how Ian and Andy meet.

Ahh well. That's what's on my mind right now. Leaving LMU and pursuing other interests.

Thanks for reading.

Spamming for Jesus: A Christian Hipster Pleads for Sanity

When Gutenberg invented the printing press, it had an incredibly wonderful effect on Christianity. Whereas for centuries only a few people could a hold a Bible, after the invention the Bible was then manufactured and distributed at an alarmingly fast rate. It was the original information age. It sparked literacy across Europe. Thank God for the movable type!

Now, centuries later, we are in a new information age with not only the internet, but also with email, cell-phones, twitter, podcasts and everything else. Good? Sure, I'm a blogger. I love it. There is however, a bit of abuse; a dark side to this supra-information age. What happens when many Christians start compulsively sending information to other Christians? When does it reach overkill?

Can we stop the Christian spamming?

Yes Christian spamming comes in many ways. It might be a vaguely spiritual email message. They are forwarded again and again. The headline might read "How has God blessed you today?" or "Twelve Reasons why God loves you." They can also be cause oriented like "Protect Traditional Marriage" or "Pray for Christians in China." They are often accompanied with stirring images, such as a "Precious Moments" doll, Thomas Kincaide painting, or an image of Korean charismatics in prayer ecstasy.

Other types of Christian spamming might pop up in the cell phones or mobile devices. How about a Christian twitter? 144 characters of a reminder to pray or short devotion delivered throughout the day? Maybe a Bible verse from your pastor, small group leader, or such might be shared through iPhone contact list. Even facebook feeds, which are certain kind of spam, have applications reminding us "What God wants us to know" because no Christian, before facebook, was able to discern that. No sir!

Again, I have to say it: Please stop the Christian spamming!

For those you send the text messages, twitters, and emails, I think I can see where you might be coming from. God, through the Holy Spirit, will send you something that you find warm, enlightening, and otherwise insightful. When we find something insightful -especially when it comes to our faith- it is completely natural to want to share it with everyone that we care about. When it comes to the Christian causes, there is no doubt about the urgency of the issues at hand. Again, it is natural to want to share it with everyone.

But try to see it from the world of the people you are spamming. We all come from our own unique backgrounds. We are all already reading our own devotional material. We probably have a stack of Christian literature on our bookshelves. We even have our own lists of blog feeds, email lists, and news articles that we all subscribe to. Because of all this, what will be insightful, warm and fuzzy, to one Christian (the spammer) may not have the same affect on another Christian (the spammee).

It gets annoying sometimes. It can feel invasive, like someone saying, "this beer is so good! You gotta try it!" and then pouring a pint into my empty glass after I'm already full. Because of this, most Christian spam goes straight to the virtual trash-can.

Now I writing a blog here, so I am as much a fan of technology and sharing and communicating things about God through technology as anyone. Probably more so. My point though, is this: there can be "to much of a good thing." Good things need to be presented right way at the right time with the right sensitivity from the presenters. That sensitivity means not sending out spiritual insights as if it were mass-marketing junk mail.

Can we please stop the Christian spamming?

Have Yourself a very Civic Christmas

Isn't there anyone who can tell me what Christmas is all about?! -Charlie Brown

Yesterday was the the third Sunday of Advent and I am yet to comment on Christmas.

I am such a bad Christian.

I had hoped to do a series of worked out, fully fledged, articles for this Advent season, but my school schedule, my quest for summer employment and to some extent even Christmas shopping got the better of me.

In other words, I was sucked into the civic side of Christmas.

It seems, when Christmas comes around, Christians really wind up celebrating two different holidays at the same time. One, is the secular holiday; henceforth "x-mas." X-mas is marked by the traveling stress of coming home from school during winter break, (or waiting for your kids to come home if you are the parent). It is about the big day of shopping of black Friday. It is about getting presents under the tree. Hanging stockings above the mantle. Getting gifts and receiving them, and shopping while hearing "Jingle bells" or "I'll be Home for Christmas" or something else vaguely "Good will" orientated. X-mas, is the secular, cultural, holiday that all people of any religious or non-religious persuasion can enjoy.

Do I think any of these things are bad? Not at all (except the shopping). I enjoy giving and receiving gifts. X-mas remains the one time of year when I really look forward to going home. Decorations are still fun. As long as there is not a great deal of stress, I will have a good X-mas this year.

The thing is though, I really want to celebrate Advent and Christmas during December. I want to prepare myself as if Christ was coming on December 24th. I want some time to take emotional, spiritual, and even mental inventory and redirect everything towards God. I want to show Christian charity through acts of Christian charity. I want to sing Christmas songs that reflect the importance of Christ's birth. I want to be amazed by the incarnation.

I found this Advent, and many others like it to be an unstable balance of X-mas and Christmas. It seems every year, that the aspects of X-mas, because I am so stuck in the culture, eclipse Christmas. Never fully so, obviously, but a little to much in my mind.

This year, though, I did get all my shopping done by November. Next year, I will pay special attention Advent and will hopefully be able to decorate my apartment accordingly.

Thanks for reading.

Thinking about the next step and such

If there has been a lot on my mind lately, most notably near future plans.

A year ago, I was dead set on getting out of Los Angeles and moving onto to wherever that may be (which means, wherever I could find the right job) afterwards. This is still mostly the plan, but I think now I am much more willing to consider Los Angeles as one of those possible places.

I think generally plans are important to make but they are also important to change should things change, and my experience around Los Angeles has changed a bit. If I stayed here, there are plenty of things worth staying for. For instance, I am enjoying my church a lot. If I wanted to cultivate my aesthetic side in addition to my Christian life, MOSAIC happens to be a great place to do that. Additionally, my younger brother is coming down to Southern California (very likely) in the fall. As is one of my closest friends from undergraduate. I will also have finished my graduate program, and that means I do not have to worry about education harming my financial situation (as it continually does).

In otherwords, if I do leave, I will be a bit reluctant to do so. I think I am open to the possibility of staying. It remains unlikely, but things could change in between now and May.

In other news, I really, really, need a seasonal job for December.

What Have We Unlearned?

I’ll mope around the campus and I’ll feel betrayed, all those guilty summers I stayed. Then I’ll laugh that I feel for the lure of the pain of desire to feel so pure. And I’ll bear all the burdens of my little daily crimes. -Dar Williams “Teen for God”

It goes without saying that as we grow and learn we often find that the values we hold to are not the same values that we were taught when we were young. For most people, this stage of personal growth is either our internal acceptance of our parents’ values, the realization that we have rejected them, or somewhere in between. For quarter –life Christians, I think this process goes beyond what our parents taught us (if indeed, we learned anything from our parents at all) and expands to what our churches, especially our youth pastors, camp counselors and other leaders taught us. This kind of self-examination is especially strong at Christian Colleges, but is by no means limited to those places.

I have reflected on this, on and off, for years. I think it is time to hear what others’ also think on this subject. Many Christians I know tend to recognize the change and shift in their understanding of what Christianity is. For some, it is fairly benign reforming of and understanding of what Christianity is about. For others, it is a radical shift or complete recreation (and perhaps, rejection) of their faith.

In this blog, I am inviting anyone who is reading to share their own stories about this matter. I can frame it with two questions:

First, what is one thing about the Christian life that you learned between 15-20 that you either have either reformed or rejected now?

Secondly, if you could explain an alternative to your younger self (or to another 15-20 Christian), what would that alternative be?

These questions are intentionally open-ended. Here are some more thought-joggers.

-Movies and Entertainment. Some Christian traditions are incredibly extreme about this. I have heard of Christian Colleges in which students must use “code-words” to describe when they are going to see a movie. Likewise, there are often rules and ethics about the music we listen to. Are we supposed to privilege “Christian” music? If so what constitutes “Christian” music?

-Drinking, smoking and other forms of debauchery. Were you taught to not “smoke, drink or chew?” Was it careful advice to never touch liquor, hang out in a bar, or smoke a clove? What was the justification for this and did you find it acceptable or not?

-Sex and relationships. When dating, what kind of parameters were you expected to adhere to? Was dating a non-Christians off limits? Did you feel like you had to ask the “how far is to far” question? What kinds of things did you learn in the gender-specific message times? Do you still hold them today? Issues like homosexuality would definitely be under this heading.

-The Bible and Theological issues Is the Bible inerrant? Where did it come from? What was your perception of the Bible now as compared to when you were younger? What about the various theological issues? Some of us eventually disagree with some of the cornerstone doctrines of churches we were raised in. Opinions about hell/heaven, end-times, the understanding of “Kingdom of God,” and approaches to evangelism are only but a few.

Politics. Evangelicalism has traditionally been aligned with the political right, with only a minority aligning with the democrat party. We often learned about how our founding fathers were outstanding Christian men. Now, not all Christians believe this and some resist it quite strongly. Our faith is never divorced from our politics, but is it same as traditionally taught?

Naturally these are only a few of the things I can limit. You can use your own imagination and experience to expand on this. I hope I can get a lot of comments on this blog, as what is written here will be the substance of future blogs.

Feel free to submit whatever it is you have to say anonymously or sign your name.

Thanks for reading.

More Strange Sights and Sounds...

Though not necessarily all at the beach towns, here are some more visual phenomena of the last few weeks of note.

A huge guy and small lady dancing While blues dancing a few weeks ago, I saw the (ironically) one black guy in the room dancing with a petite Chinese woman. He actually had her doing some kind of hand-stand type deal. It was like a swing aerial in slow motion.

Crazy nutball doing Tai-chi one evening on Santa Monica blvd. It was late at night and I watched him with a friend from across the street. Both of us contemplated what it might mean for society to have to deal with a crazy guy like that. What does society owe to those who are... well nuts?

A Homeless Guy Outside of Ralph's who looked up hopefully at me and asked for change. He said he would work for it by helping me carry my groceries to my car. I was impressed. I let him do so and gave him a little bit of change from my car.

An LMU student wearing a "Republican" shirt. It had the republican logo with a bunch of dollar bills spilling out of its nose. The caption said "Republicans have more money" this is probably true, damn blatant, and funny.

Labor Day Weekend in Review.

In hindsight, I think I had a pretty rockin' labor day weekend.

Friday night was the meet 'n greet night for the new graduate students. There's nothing like drinking with your fellow students and your professors. It think this is by far one of the most interesting things about being a graduate student. I do this far more often in grad than I did in undergrad.

I met a few of the new students and re-connected with the other second years like myself. I especially liked meeting Valerie's boyfriend whose name I can't remember. He recommended to me some obscure BBC sci-fi series: truly, we are kindred spirits.

Saturday, I actually had nice productive day. I worked on comics, artwork, reading and re-reading. I sadly did not have the money to go bar-hopping with Valerie et al. I am, after all, trying to save cash. I am getting sick of going to places that try to separate me from my money anyway. Saturday evening I had the chance to meet with my roommate's parents and watch "Tropic Thunder" instead. That movie is awesome.

Sunday, I took one of the new students, Jenn, to Mosaic West LA. It is was an "experience." We later ate some chiptole and talked about our mutual, and fairly similar, experiences with evangelicalism. It seems that we both went to evangelical Christian colleges and found out that we weren't evangelicals by the time we left. (This is the price of being philosophers). I struggled to explain my reluctantly Keirkegaardian reasons for being involved at mosaic. I listened to her talk about her gripes about hell and sex. It was good meal.

Monday, labor day, I again worked on my comic all afternoon. About 2:00, Adam came over. We prepped meals for the night by shopping. We watched "Hackers" and reminisced about the 90s. Later, Josiah came over and brought some filler for the Vodka I had. I made some Vodka Collins' and White Russians with Soy milk from the fridge. Our conversations ranged from politics to religion to relationships in the most amicable and honest manner. It was an evening well spent.

What is the moral of the story? Well honestly, I think it might be this: I don't need to go out and drink anymore. Having been formally trained and practiced as a bartender, I can actually mix whatever I want. When I see the price of liquor, even good stuff, I realize that the mark-up to order a drink at a bar is obscenely high. Furthermore, I realize that the bar atmosphere is not actually conducive to what I want in a evening, which is good conversation maybe followed with some music if there is more than one musician around. I think from now on, I will arrange parties and shindigs in which I buy some Vodka, Rum, etc and ask others to bring the soda and the filler if we want to drink.

Seems a lot more fun that way.

Strange Sights and Sounds of the Beach Towns

If this really is my last year in California, I do not think I could spend it in a better place.

I live just North of Loyola Marymount now. I no longer will be living on Campus, which is really an "about time" type of change for me. I live right on the corner of highway 1 and am but a few blocks from the beaches. I'm twenty minutes from Venice beach, which is a boardwallk with quite a bit of character to it. Here are some of the things I've seen in the last few days.

An elderly, unemployed, black man who was holding a sign which read "American Citizen: Hire me first" outside of the Home Depot. He held his head high and proudly on the street corner in the sun. The Mexican day laborer where several paces behind him. It is not uncommon to hear of the Church speak of sympathizing with the most alien in your society. Strangely, I was not sure who was really the alien in this scenario: is it those who leave their country to look for work in a foreign one, or is the man who sees so many foreigners he feels alienated in the country of his birth? This is a question well worth pondering.


Some homeless guy in a conversation with a hot twenty something on the Venice Beach boardwalk. Normally, a homeless dude is not the kind of guy you imagine in conversations with really hot twenty somethings in summer clothes. Yet strangely, that is exactly what was happening. She did not seem put off by his presence as they walked down the boardwalk, and was actually responding to what he was saying. I guess there's hope for everybody.

A weathered, but energetic, college kid just trying to get home. He wore a military surplus backpack which undoubtedly held all his current possessions. He was standing at the stop sign where the 90 intersects with highway 1. He looked dirty and had probably slept in the streets. I asked him way he was asking for money. He explained that he came down to San Diego for party, where his wallet was stolen. Now, he was just trying to get back to San Francisco for school. I gave him a few dollars and wished him good luck.

That's about it for now. I'm sure there has been more, but if I have strain my brain to remember, it must not have been that interesting. At this point, the most interesting thing that I could say is paper work telling me I'm hired.

Apparently, I am a Christian Hipster

A recent blog posting over here listed many of the qualities of a Christian Hipster. I fit them down fairly solid, as do many of "my people." Normally, I am the one making witty, satirical, comments about other people. It's fun being on the other end of the pigeon holing. Here goes:

Things they don’t like:
Christian hipsters don’t like megachurches, altar calls, and door-to-door evangelism. They don’t really like John Eldredge’s Wild at Heart or youth pastors who talk too much about Braveheart. In general, they tend not to like Mel Gibson and have come to really dislike The Passion for being overly bloody and maybe a little sadistic.

Wild at Heart was a dumb book. It was uninteresting and unenlightening. I am surprised that I haven't posted a blog ranting about it, but it doesn't matter. "The Church Impotent" and "To Own a Dragon" are far better publications on Christian manhood. I don't have anything against Mel, and never did see "Passion of the Christ though.

They don’t like people like Pat Robertson, who on The 700 Club famously said that America should “take Hugo Chavez out”; and they don’t particularly like The 700 Club either, except to make fun of it. They don’t like evangelical leaders who get too involved in politics, such as James Dobson or Jerry Falwell, who once said of terrorists that America should “blow them all away in the name of the Lord.”

Fuck Pat Robertson. If people took seriously the prohibition against "false prophets," this guy would've lost his audience years ago. But people only want to apply that test to Joseph Smith et al. Oh well.

Dobson bores me. He is not on my list of people to listen too. Falwell... eh I'd rather not say bad things about the dead.

They don’t like TBN, PAX, or Joel Osteen. They do have a wry fondness for Benny Hinn, however.

What many people don't realize is that the TBN building sucks up so much energy (they keep the building perpetually floodlit) that it raises electricity prices in the neighborhood. Also, the building is so un-holy, that it actually blights the surrounding earth that it is built on. Plant life in the area died slowly after the early broadcasts. No new plants grow in the area.

Joel Osteen creeps me out. He is a very good marketing/sales guy. I don't have anything against marketing/sales guys, but buyer-beware, snake oil still sells! I think I can have indirect fondness of Benny Hinn for the same reason I enjoy the Star Wars prequels.

Christian hipsters tend not to like contemporary Christian music (CCM), or Christian films (except ironically), or any non-book item sold at Family Christian Stores. They hate warehouse churches or churches with American flags on stage, or churches with any flag on stage, really.

CCM drives me nuts, even after I have gotten over the negative association I had with it. I know it is hard for some to believe, but I don't need to raise my hands before a pop-singer to worship God. American flags are an annoyance to me, although I am not as strongly opposed as many of my friends. But still, I remember one of the reasons I left my old church back in Modesto was they had a card-board cut out of George W. Bush, and nobody thought it was odd except me.

They prefer “Christ follower” to “Christian” and can’t stand the phrases “soul winning” or “non-denominational,” and they could do without weird and awkward evangelistic methods including (but not limited to): sock puppets, ventriloquism, mimes, sign language, “beach evangelism,” and modern dance. Surprisingly, they don’t really have that big of a problem with old school evangelists like Billy Graham and Billy Sunday and kind of love the really wild ones like Aimee Semple McPherson.

All of this listed here is a type of "evangelism" that I think has had its day in the sun, and is not breathing its last. Even Billy Graham's own organization admits that only 10% of the altar call people stick with it. Soul-winning makes us forget that we have plenty to overcome in our souls. Non-denominational churches still bother me.

Things they like:
Christian hipsters like music, movies, and books that are well-respected by their respective artistic communities—Christian or not. They love books like Resident Aliens by Stanley Hauerwas and Will Willimon, Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger by Ron Sider, God’s Politics by Jim Wallis, and The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis. They tend to be fans of any number of the following authors: Flannery O’Connor, Walker Percy, Wendell Berry, Thomas Merton, John Howard Yoder, Walter Brueggemann, N.T. Wright, Brennan Manning, Eugene Peterson, Anne Lamott, C.S. Lewis, G.K. Chesterton, Henri Nouwen, Soren Kierkegaard, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, Annie Dillard, Marilynne Robison, Chuck Klosterman, David Sedaris, or anything ancient and/or philosophically important.

Okay, I have not read everyone on this list, but I have highlighted everything that either me or a some of my close friends have read. It is so scary. I just don't know why Clark Pinnock and Jurgen Moltmann aren't in that list. I really expected them to be.

Christian hipsters love thinking and acting Catholic, even if they are thoroughly Protestant. They love the Pope, liturgy, incense, lectio divina, Lent, and timeless phrases like “Thanks be to God” or “Peace of Christ be with you.” They enjoy Eastern Orthodox churches and mysterious iconography, and they love the elaborate cathedrals of Europe (even if they are too museum-like for hipster tastes). Christian hipsters also love taking communion with real Port, and they don’t mind common cups. They love poetry readings, worshipping with candles, and smoking pipes while talking about God. Some of them like smoking a lot of different things.

Oh man.... do I need to say anything? This is so freakishly accurate. I mean, one friend wonders If I will revert to Catholicism. I even have some friends who went and joined the Eastern Church. Are you reading this Dane? Even after you converted to Eastern Orthodoxy, you're still a hipster!

Christian hipsters love breaking the taboos that used to be taboo for Christians. They love piercings, dressing a little goth, getting lots of tattoos (the Christian Tattoo Association now lists more than 100 member shops), carrying flasks and smoking cloves. A lot of them love skateboarding and surfing, and many of them play in bands. They tend to get jobs working for churches, parachurch organizations, non-profits, or the government. They are, on the whole, a little more sincere and idealistic than their secular hipster counterparts.

Okay, I haven't done any of this yet, but so many of my friends have.

So it seems that if I am not "Some Kind of Christian" I am actually a Christian Hipster.

Ash Wednesday

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, one of my favorite Holidays.

My work schedule kept from making it to any morning service. This was fine though, since at the coffee shop I saw people walk in with ash crosses on their foreheads. It made me happy. I even made sure that one of the ladies didn't order the soup with meat in it. She appreciated me "keeping her on task" in her own words.

I did not actually make it to an Ash Wednesday service until 10pm at night. I am glad that LMU is as accommodating as it is -there is a church on campus. I didn't have to drive anywhere, and just walked to Sacred Heart chapel.

The highlight of the service was the priest's homily. People sometimes feel that Lent, because it involves "giving up" something, is sober season of legalistic obligation. It also starts with repentance, which is not always fun. (I certainly have somethings to repent for.) Clearly, this priest knew what that kind of feeling is like. But in the homily, he reminded us all that it is actually joyous season. We make sacred part of our lives in order to move more towards Christ and his righteousness. When they say "Turn from sin and live the Gospel" it is not condemnation, but admonishment. Lent is something that we should look foreward to. It gives us a great chance to advert our attention away from something that is bothering us, and towards something that is great.

Happy Lent everybody!

My Halloween weekend, and how I'm paying for it.

I had an amazingly good, Halloween weekend.

Halloween itself was spent down in San Diego. I was dressed up as Dr. Zoidberg. The costume was 100% mom manufactured. I went to Dave and Buster’s with my circle of friends there. The evening was nearly sullied by the fact that Dave and Buster’s is discriminatory against alien crustaceans, and they forced me leave my mask in the car. Despite that inequality, I still had fun. I talked to random SDSU students and enjoyed good times for Deb-deb’s birthday. I also discovered that I stir drinks erotically. Yellow fever.

Saturday was spent recovering at the San Diego hotel. I ate breakfast with good people and then headed home. After dropping off Kelly in Long Beach, I headed up to Glenduzaovina and visited a few others. I witnessed only the aftermath of Allison’s Halloween party, but it looked like they had a good time. Laurel was in town. Laurel and I drank frothy brews in Glendora. I learned much about myself through that conversation –such as the fact that I don’t like Alaskan Amber.

Sunday I went to Mosiac again. I seem stuck at that church for some reason. Then I helped my younger sister moved a bit. Finally, I spent time with Adam and a few Fuller students in Glendale. It was a great dinner! I had actually forgotten to eat most of the day, so it was tasty. This followed by a good, and “spirited” conversation on Christianity and Politics. I’m still voting for Dwight!

Now you will notice I did not type about how much reading and writing I got done this weekend. That’s because I didn’t do much at all. This is how I’m paying for the weekend. Oh God…I dread that Lonergan class…

An very old post...

This blog was originally posted on my myspace back in December 2006. Since I pretty much need to dump my myspace, I am entering it hear for posterity


I Am No Longer a Geek

I came to this realization a couple months ago. I think it's worth blogging about.

First, it's hard to define exactly what a geek is. I think part of it is being imaginative, having above average intelligence, an interest in technology, and several other things. Practically, this works itself out in maybe strong interest in certain types of media. Anything fantasy or science fiction such as comic books, video games etc. A geek is perhaps someone who becomes an expert in something unreal. This is different than say an interest in literature because literature connects with periods in history and usually tries to connect with real life.

But rather than define "geek" I should say what symptoms I've done. I was a geek's geek. I played Magic the Gathering in middle school. I was an obsessive Star Wars fan at age twelve. I played Dungeons and Dragons in high school and was the Dungeon Master who planned everything. I attended a Star Trek convention with my mother and another friend when I was in the seventh Grade. I've played the Warcraft videogame canon since Warcraft II. I posted on message boards Before the internet was popular and everything was still DOS based. I've spent hours editting maps in Star Craft. I own an anime series and used to watch a lot at a friend's house. I attended a Ren-faire in costume and have "boffed." I build my own computers. I know what the three laws of robotics are. I've read LOTR, Dune, and Hitch-hiker's Guide. I found every last item in Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past. Oh yeah, I enjoyed Starcraft LAN parties at my friend's house before I even owned a laptop.

I was even the type of person who would argue and talk about this kind of thing. No one complained about that bitch Jar-jar more than me. I still think that Blood Elf paladins have terrible lore behind them. I can tell you about the psychological overtones in Neon Genesis. I can tell you about stuff I read from the original Star Trek encyclopedia. I was the annoying rule Nazi when it came to spells in D&D (you remember that Mitch?).

But since the summer, I've realized that I've lost interest in this kind of thing, or at least the intensity has greatly diminished. Part of it was saturation in geekiness over the summer. I'd work with people who all worked with computers and videogames. We'd play Counter Strike the last hour of the day. Then I'd go home and play WOW while my roommates tried to beat eachother's high score in Geometry Wars. Other times, there was the occasional "Drunken FPS" night.

Another thing is that life is to short. I don't really have the time to sit in front of a TV so I can watch the latest cheesy anime series about dragon-robots controlled by fourteen year-old wizards. Getting together a gaming session has been out of the question for years. And LAN parties? I'd really rather be practicing my Guitar. Stuff like the excess of World of Warcraft ("Birth Control for $15 Dollars a month") is nothing but an empty sense of accomplishment to me now, and I've realized that I've never seriously regretted not playing a video game.

Finally, I've realized just how weird geek culture can look. I've been on the inside of a Dungeon and Dragon's sessions, so I know that the people sitting around the table see something totally different. But to everyone else, it's a bunch of skinny nerdy guys sitting around rolling dice, drinking mountian dew and wasting potential. Also, I've listened to people argue about comic book characters (something I never got into to), and it sounds utterly absurd to me about how people speculate about how Iron Man might beat so-and-so or how cool it would be Wolverine had stayed feral. I thought boffing was interesting in high school, but why don't I just get back into Akkido instead? Finally, if you've ever seen "Grandma's Boy" you can get a good look at how sad geek Culture can actually be.

Now I don't hate geeks. I'm just not one of them. I can no longer relate to that kind of world easily. Also, it could be that I was just never able to balance geek-life with normal life.

The best way I can sum up my personal reaction to it is that geek culture is the shadows on the wall of Plato's cave. Once you get away from it, you realize that there is a whole different way to live. There are a lot of more important and fulfilling things outside that cave. Real Things.